Happy Birthday to ME!
Today I turn 44…forty four…4.4 decades. That feels like an eternity, but also a blink of an eye at the same time. I’ve led what some would see as a blessed life, some would see events like the death of both parents in 1996 and a failed marriage in 2004 as defining moments and some will see my marriage to Randy and move to SC as the moment my life finally was my own. I would say it’s all of those things, but so much more and just a drop in the bucket of the pieces of my tapestry that have been woven together in 44 years. From the front, the tapestry is a beautiful representation of the life God has blessed me with. Flip it over and there are thousands of threads and what basically looks like a hot mess that has gone into who I am today. And the thing is…I wouldn’t change a thing.
Sure, there have been moments that I wished at the time wouldn’t be allowed to break me down, make me feel lost, unloved, forgotten, abandoned. The lessons I learned and the mercy I’ve seen from God in these situations are things I wouldn’t be able to share as my testimony today had they not happened. And that’s a beautiful part of my testimony, the threads and background that make my tapestry so beautiful. I don’t have to be perfect (thank goodness), I don’t have to have all the answers, but I do have to trust God’s plan in this crazy thing we call life.
This year has been full of changes – selling my house, finalizing the move, after many years to SC…changing my license and car tag – all which may feel insignificant to some, but my bubble has always been in my small town in NC with the same folks, in the same house, church and community for most of my life. I have a wonderful life with my husband and I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING. I have more than I deserve and I remind myself often of God’s amazing hand in the shaping of my marriage.
So this year, on my birthday, I am starting afresh – not forgetting where I came from, but honoring it with it’s due respect as part of the process that has helped me be the woman, wife, sister, Nannie and friend that I am today.
Randy and I are looking forward to a fabulous year – and I’ll be sure to share all about it when the time is right. I can’t promise I’ll do better at blogging…my heart is there, but my schedule is still frustratingly busy. I can promise this – I commit to share at least a couple of times a week – especially while my sister and I are in Europe in a few weeks – its’s an exciting time!
But until then, have a great week – and be sure to tell the ones close to you that you love them.
Stephanie
